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Assertiveness is where a human being’s personal growth journey starts when he/she realises that enough is enough. I have to become better to reach my power goals.

Definitions of assertiveness

Assertiveness is the quality of being self-assured and confident without being aggressive. In the field of psychology and psychotherapy, it is a skill that can be learned and a mode of communication. (Wikipedia)

Being assertive is a core communication skill. Assertiveness can help you express yourself effectively. It can help you to stand up for your point of view, while also respecting the rights of others. (Mayo online)

Assertiveness is a healthy way of communicating. It is the ability to speak up for ourselves in a way that is honest and respectful. (Kidshealth)

“Assertiveness is not what you do, it’s who you are.”
―  Shakti Gawain ― 

Role of effective communication

It is a social skill that relies heavily on effective communication while simultaneously respecting the thoughts and wishes of others. People who are assertive clearly and respectfully communicate their needs, positions, and boundaries to others. There is no question of where they stand, no matter what the topic.

Individuals who are high in assertiveness don’t shy away from defending their points of view or goals. They do not shy away from trying to influence others to see their side. They are open to both compliments and constructive criticism. People can improve their assertiveness through practical exercises and experience.

“Learn to be assertive without anger attached to it.”
― Nikki Rowe

A person who is assertive clearly communicates their wishes. They set boundaries but does not make demands of other people if their requests are not met. The ability to be assertive allows someone to make overtures to other people and stand up for themselves in a nonaggressive way. It can also protect them from bullies and other social predators.

From a cognitive standpoint, assertive people experience fewer anxious thoughts, even when under stress. From a behavioural standpoint, assertive people are firm without being rude. They react to positive and negative emotions without becoming aggressive or resorting to passivity.

“Be assertive, in speech and in conduct.”
― Lailah Gifty Akita, Think Great: Be Great!

People who are unable to assert themselves may experience sensitivity to criticism, extreme passivity, anxiety, or even low self-esteem.  They may be treated like emotional doormats whose needs always come second.  In extreme cases, they may completely lose sight of what they need and want in life.

“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”
―  Warren Buffett

Assertive behaviour continue…

Being assertive offers several benefits, ranging from less anxiety and depression to a greater sense of agency and better relationships.  Assertiveness is often associated with higher self-esteem and confidence.

“We can say what we need to say. Gently, but assertively, speak our mind. There is no need to be judgmental, tactless, blaming, or cruel when we speak our truths”
― Melody Beattie ― 

Assertive people tend to project confidence. They maintain eye contact, have good posture, and use body language effectively. They can express their thoughts and beliefs honestly and reasonably—and they encourage other people to do the same.

Being assertive means speaking up for one’s rights without disrespecting anyone else’s. It involves managing stress, solving problems as they arise, and staying calm no matter how the other person reacts.

“Be weary of people who accuse you of aggression when you’re being assertive. ”
― Mitta Xinindlu

Because assertiveness is based on mutual respect, it is an effective and diplomatic communication style. Being assertive shows that you respect yourself because you are willing to stand up for your interests and express your thoughts and feelings. It also demonstrates that you are aware of others’ rights and willing to work on resolving conflicts. (Mayo online) Source: Psychology Today