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Self-help

Analysis of your self-help endeavours

We rely on self-help books to improve or acquire new skills as we cannot always afford professional coaching. Let us look how well we can help ourselves… And embark on an exciting discovery/journey about self-help! The best names ever in the self-help industry are mentioned in this blog.

Definitions

Self-help: the act or state of providing the means to help oneself without relying on the assistance of others.

or

The acquiring of information or the solving of one’s problems, especially those of a psychological nature, without the direct supervision of professionals or experts, as by independent reading or by joining or forming lay groups that are devoted to one’s interests or goals. Dictionary.com

Help yourself?

How many times can we try to lose weight, quit smoking, cut back on alcohol consumption, or try to find a more suitable purpose in life? One answer: As many times as it takes to get it right. Psychology Today

How old is self-help?

The first self-described self-help book was published in 1859. The author’s name, improbably, was Samuel Smiles; the title, even more improbably, was Self-Help.

His book was a distillation of lessons from the lives of famous people who pulled themselves up by their bootstraps,

Samuel Smiles‘ book sold millions of copies and was a mainstay in Victorian households – Chris Taylor. Mashable

Famous prospective retrospection

This is a thought experiment known as “prospective retrospection.” Jeff Bezos calls it “regret minimization,” and it’s what he used in 1996 to take the biggest risk of his life.

He decided a 80-year-old Jeff would be less regretful if he drove to Seattle and founded Amazon, no matter the outcome, than if he stayed in his safe New York consulting gig. Love Bezos or hate him, you can’t deny it worked.  Mashable

Self-help books: 11 rules!

The books are readily available, but we have to abide by the rules to make progress in our self-help efforts and enjoy results.

1. Take one small step. Your daily habits aren’t just important; they’re the whole ballgame. “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” – Aristotle

2. Change your mental maps. Time to enter the world of sports cliché. “If you believe it, the mind can achieve it”: NFL’s Ronnie Lott.

3. Struggle is good. Scary is good. Be sure to view this video about Stoic philosophy: https://youtu.be/wH6dSe_dYgM

Stoicism is not about being unfeeling, but about shifting your mental framework so that you expect and even welcome the worst instead of fearing it. Mind boggling!

4. Instant judgment is bad. It’s hard to explain this common self-help rule without slipping into clichés. How often have you been told to take a deep breath and count to 10 before reacting to some perceived slight?

5. Remember the end of your life. As we pass what would have been Robin Williams 70th birthday (in 2021), let us recall the “carpe diem” scene from Dead Poets’ Society. “We are food for worms, lads,” says Williams; a line that is now almost too poignant to bear.

6. Be playful. No matter how difficult your task is, you can always make it playful.

7. Be useful to others. What is the oldest piece of self-help advice? In the loosest definition, it’s probably the Golden Rule from the Bible — treat others as you would want to be treated.

Rome was not built in one day, you have to be patient…

8. Perfectionism = procrastination. Sometimes you learn best by doing, by throwing yourself in at the deep end. To use sometimes a saying by Amy Cuddy: Fake it ’til you make it. See her on TED.

9. Sleep, exercise, eat, chill out. Repeat. Being human means accepting the limitations and maintenance of our meat sack. The Roman poet Juvenal put it best: Mens sana in corpore sano, a healthy mind in a healthy body.

10. Write it all down. No matter which self-help guide you follow, you aren’t going to get far without writing. You need to hone a plan and need to visualize. You need to make lists.

11. You can’t get it all from reading. If you read an author who claims you can get literally everything you need from their book or article, that’s not self-help.

All writers admit the limitations of reading only in a well-rounded life improvement program without exercise.

At some point, you need to put the book down and do the work. Chris Taylor, Mashable = 11 points above in more detail), says: “The basic advice in hundreds of bestsellers is older than you think.”

Serious about self-help?

If you’re serious about getting better at something, then one of the first steps is to know—in black-and-white terms—where you stand.

You need self-awareness before you can achieve self-improvement. Determine your current mental first. Read James Clear’s Self-improvement for excellent guidance. Dozens of brilliant articles.

Boost Your Self-Esteem

If you feel like your self-esteem may need a boost, don’t think that you are the only one – we all struggle with some self-esteem issues, at some point of our lives. The sooner you begin working on it, the sooner you’ll feel better. Liya Panayotova Explorable = handy techniques!

The person in the mirror is responsible for your well-being.

Self-care checklist

You must have some boxes to tick off in order to ensure you are on the right track. A list for all.

The most important one is: Create a “no” list, with things you know you don’t like or you no longer want to do. Examples: Not checking emails at night, not attending gatherings you don’t like etc.

Other items to add to your right track checklist:

A. Promote a nutritious, healthy diet.

B. Get enough sleep. Adults usually need 7-8 hours of sleep each night.

C. Exercise. In contrast to what many people think, exercise is as good for our emotional health as it is for our physical health.

D. Follow-up with medical care. It is not unusual to put off check-ups or visits to the doctor.

E. Use relaxation exercises and/or practice meditation. You can do these exercises at any time of the day.

F. Spend enough time with your loved ones.

G. Do at least one relaxing activity every day, whether it’s taking a walk or spending 30 minutes unwinding.

H. Do at least one pleasurable activity every day; from going to the cinema, to cooking or meeting with friends.

I. Look for opportunities to laugh! Raphailia Michael Psych Central

Success: self-help

One of the best self-help books ever was written by Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich (1937). The advice in this book is priceless and is among the 10 best selling self-help books of all time. Hill‘s works insisted that fervid expectations are essential to improving one’s life. Most of his books were promoted as expounding principles to achieve “success”

Mind: self-help

Let us get rid of all the mind spider webs that keep you down. Joyce Meyer Battlefield of the Mind The book is powerful! She is in a way the religious mother of Africa due to her huge charity excursions there.

Career: self-help

One of the best persons ever in the world for inspiration to enhance one’s career or life: Tony Robbins Career advancement He will lift your spirit up like none with his more than 30 years coaching in personal development! Watch his videos and read his books.

Brian Tracy a famous coach/veteran in personal development. Do you want to be successful? If you think the way the most successful people think and adopt the same habits they have, you can be. But what makes someone a master achiever?

Here is the answer. They are ambitious;

courageous.

committed.

prepared.

continuous learners.

responsible

Management skills: self-help

“You have the potential to transform your world. You see, a better you is an unstoppable change agent—a transformed you creates a transformed world. I want you to fulfill your potential—I want to help you change the world.” John Maxwell The best coach in the world on management skills.

Self-help maestro

You see, what you become is far more important than what you get. The important question to ask on the job is not, “What am I getting?” Instead, you should ask, “What am I becoming?” Most of what you have today, you have attracted by becoming the person you are today. His wisdom was priceless and still is. Jim Rohn — visit his website.

Finance: self-help

April 2020 marks 23 years since Robert Kiyosaki’s Rich Dad Poor Dad first made waves in the Personal Finance arena. It has since become the #1 Personal Finance book of all time. Be streetwise about Bitcoin apart from revolutionary financial thinking: Robert Kiyosaki Cryptocurrency

Goal setting: self-help

The father of modern personal development, Earl Nightingale, created  the best definition of success: “Success is the progressive realisation of a worthy goal/idea.” 

If you understand completely what I am going to tell you, from this moment on, your life will never be the same again. — Earl Nightingale Listen to this CD to change your life positively permanently. Click on his name or here Earl Nightingale 2.

Paradigm of self-help

“Paradigms are powerful because they create the lens through which we see the world… If you want small changes in your life, work on your attitude. But if you want big and primary changes, work on your paradigm.” Dr. Stephen R. Covey

Meditation: self help

The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts: therefore, guard accordingly, and take care that you entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature. Marcus Aurelius Read his book Meditations. Click on his name for his wikipedia info.

Positive thinking: self-help

“Our happiness depends on the habit of mind we cultivate. So practice happy thinking every day. Cultivate the merry heart, develop the happiness habit, and life will become a continual feast.” Dr. Norman Vincent Peale.

Vulnerability: self-help

“I want to be in the arena. I want to be brave with my life. And when we make the choice to dare greatly, we sign up to get our asses kicked. We can choose courage or we can choose comfort, but we can’t have both. Not at the same time.” Brene Brown.

Meaning in life: self-help

Man’s Search for Meaning the best book about survival by Viktor Frankl. “The more one forgets himself – by giving himself to a cause to serve or another person to love – the more human he is.”

Self-image: self help

Dale Carnegie was an American writer and lecturer, and the developer of courses in self-improvement, salesmanship, corporate training, public speaking, and interpersonal skills. These are two of his best books:

Habits: self-help

An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones:  Atomic Habits will teach you how to make the small changes that will transform your habits and deliver remarkable results. James Clear

No-nonsense self-help

“You need to recognize that the risk of moving toward your dreams is much lower than the slow, everyday punishment you inflict on yourself by suppressing your dream.” Mel Robbins She is straight forward, to the point and her courses highly effective!

GRIT: self-help

Angela Duckworth Angela Duckworth shows anyone striving to succeed—be it parents, students, educators, athletes, or business people—the secret to outstanding achievement is not talent but a special blend of passion and persistence she calls “GRIT.” She trashed the view that IQ is the main indicator for peak performance and success.

Self-help inspirations

Helen Keller. “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart.”

Nicholas James Vujicic. “If you can’t get a miracle, become one.”

Michael Jordan. One day, you might look up and see me playing the game at 50. Don’t laugh. Never say never, because limits, like fears, are often just an illusion.

Walt Disney. “The Best Way To Get Started Is To Quit Talking And Begin Doing.”

Winston Churchill. “The Pessimist Sees Difficulty In Every Opportunity. The Optimist Sees Opportunity In Every Difficulty.”

Vince Lombardi. “It’s Not Whether You Get Knocked Down, It’s Whether You Get Up.”

Steve Jobs. “If You Are Working On Something That You Really Care About, You Don’t Have To Be Pushed. The Vision Pulls You.”

Og Mandino. “Failure Will Never Overtake Me If My Determination To Succeed Is Strong Enough.”

Maya Angelou. “We May Encounter Many Defeats But We Must Not Be Defeated.”

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.” – Mark Twain

“It’s hard to beat a person who never gives up.” – Babe Ruth

He gave us golden advice more than 100 years ago!

“If people are doubting how far you can go, go so far that you can’t hear them anymore.” – Michele Ruiz

“We need to accept that we won’t always make the right decisions, that we’ll screw up royally sometimes – understanding that failure is not the opposite of success, it’s part of success.” – Arianna Huffington

“Do one thing every day that scares you.”― Eleanor Roosevelt

“Whatever you are, be a good one.” ― Abraham Lincoln

“Don’t be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.” – John D. Rockefeller

“No one is to blame for your future situation but yourself. If you want to be successful, then become “Successful.”― Jaymin Shah

“Everything comes to him who hustles while he waits.”― Thomas Edison

“Without hustle, talent will only carry you so far.” – Gary Vaynerchuk

“Work like there is someone working twenty four hours a day to take it away from you.”Mark Cuban

“If you’re offered a seat on a rocket ship, don’t ask what seat! Just get on.” – Sheryl Sandberg

“Great things are done by a series of small things brought together” – Vincent Van Gogh

A beautiful painting from a wise man…

“If you hire people just because they can do a job, they’ll work for your money. But if you hire people who believe what you believe, they’ll work for you with blood and sweat and tears.” – Simon Sinek

“If you believe it’ll work out, you’ll see opportunities. If you don’t believe it’ll work out, you’ll see obstacles.” – Wayne Dyer

“Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground.” – Theodore Roosevelt

“You can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them.” – Shonda Rhimes

“Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.” – Conan O’Brien

“The miracle is not that we do this work, but that we are happy to do it.” – Mother Teresa

“Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.” – Earl Nightingale

“The big secret in life is that there is no secret. Whatever your goal, you can get there if you’re willing to work.” – Oprah Winfrey

“If you cannot do great things, do small things in a great way.” – Napoleon Hill

Conclusion

The material and technology for self-help are available. If you follow the rules and checklists mentioned above, you will improve your skills or acquire the necessary skills and be successful and happy.